Saturday, July 3, 2010

Get Rich Writing for the Internet!

Trying to make money as a freelance writer is no joke.   For about 15 minutes, I was a "member" of a "community" of writers who, if their articles are accepted, get paid (generally less than 20 bucks) to write content for the Internet.  Since the Internet is about Everything in the Universe, you'd think I'd find a topic to fit my interests.  I'm a mom, I edit PhD dissertations.  I know some things, I didn't grow up in a closet.  I've been around, right?

Well, not around enough.  Here are some sample article titles.  It's odd that the site, while it is scrupulous about format, wording, etc., gives no context for topics...at least in the initial stages. Are you writing for kids?  Employed Ninja fighters?    And for that money, who's willing to submit several drafts until they tell you who your audience is?

Anyone care to get rich answering the following?

HOW TO GET RID OF FILLMORE MOLES  (Who's he?)

MAKING A PALM LEAF HAT

HOW TO BRAID KANGAROO LEATHER

HOW TO MAKE A SEAWEED VEIL (for your sister who's about to marry the god of the sea)

HOW TO BUILD A GREENHOUSE OF TEXAS NATIVE PLANTS makes me wonder how good their editors are.  Cactus walls?  Or do they mean FOR Texas native plants?

HOW TO INSTALL RECESSED CEILING LIGHTS IN A FINISHED TWO STORY HOUSE (Duh, call an electrician)

YOGA AFTER A TUMMY TUCK (freelance writers can afford tummy tucks?)

THE IMPORTANCE OF HUNTING VESTS  (there has to be a catch. that one is too easy.)  Ditto WHAT IS EMERGENCY HOUSING?

HISTORY OF DANCE FLOORS

Do I really want to tell the world WHICH STATES RECIPROCATE THE VIRGINIA CONCEALED WEAPON PERMIT?

WHAT CAUSES LARGE CRACKS ABOVE A SLIDING GLASS DOOR?  Probably the same shrapnel featured in THE DANGERS OF BECOMING A DENTIST

And why are WOVEN ROVEN AND FIBERGLASS CLOTH USED TOGETHER?  Funny, I woke up thinking about that.

It's making me feel stupid.  I mean, I don't even know WHY IRISH DANCERS WEAR WIGS.

This one has real creative potential: HOW TO MAKE PORTALS (As in Being John Malkovich?)

Here's an intriguing listing. The only information given is PUNITIVE DUTIES.  Do I write for prison guards or my friendly neighborhood dominatrix?

G2G, everyone.  I need to see if I remember how to use a toilet.

4 comments:

Rich Sidney said...

Shucks -- you changed the name of your blog! WTF?

Catherine Stine said...

I remember those cheesy disco dance floors a la Saturday night fever, with the changing squares of color. Guess that's dating me.

And moles? Get a Gardens Alive mole vibrator. Sounds a bit porno but it works.

People should pay writers as much as entertainers. After all, we tell stories.

HelenQP said...

Rich: In a word: SearchEngineOptimization.

KS: Someone asked if Fill-more is a verb. Hmmm. Now that has possibilities.

Nick Holt said...

I'm impressed that the faithful were at their keyboards on the 4th of July, rather than hanging flags or blowing things up.

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood." --Tom Robbins. Sorry, Tom, I beg to differ.

It should be changed to "History of A Dance Floor." The stories it could tell....! I also think that "Punitive Duties" has the right ring to be the title of a poem or short story.

Glad to hear that Stine is dating Changing Squares of Color. Whatever rocks your world, Catherine.

Nick Holt